Dream Big

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Little did I know that participating in a beauty pageant would teach me so much about my teenager. Recently, my daughter was encouraged to run for the local title of "Miss Hibiscus". If she took the crown, it would mean appearances at local fund raising events, festivals and pretty much anything that would embody the giving or familial spirit of our small town. She was reluctant at first, not at all the pageant type, but her chorus teacher was gracious enough to garner the support of The Indian River Charter High School and raise all the funding necessary to enter about five of the girls in her chorus group.

We shopped furiously for the perfect dress while simultaneously practicing what she would say in her question and answer session to a medium size audience in our local community center. Of course, the bulk of the questions addressed what she wanted to do with her life. It was at this point that I gained true insight into the mind of my sixteen year old. I suggested she talk about her love of animals and that her dream job was to rehabilitate them so they could be released back into their natural habitat. "I can't really do that", she said. When I asked her why she told me that the college in Maine that offered that very program was $29,000 a year so she had just forgotten about it.

I realized then that she was downsizing on her dreams based upon some very specific financial parameters she has set up for herself. "Never, ever underestimate the power of your dreams" I said. "Dream big". Dream big may sound like a cliche but in reality all action must be preceded by thought. Do not, I told my daughter, let fear or money or geography hold you back from fulfilling your dreams. You must ask yourself: "what would I do if I were not afraid?" Then we talked a lot about scholarships and student loans, etc. So it was at that moment that I learned which tapes she had been playing in her head and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to have had that discussion with my child. Take opportunities to really talk to your kids and, more, importantly, listen to their answers.